Let me tell you about the day that Eric left me home alone, mostly naked, with a strange Balinese man.
I am sure after reading this you are thinking Eric certainly doesn’t win an award for husband of the year. Or, maybe that is just what you were thinking.
I had some back problems, with a slight soreness in the center of my spine for quite some time. It culminated in a morning yoga class where it felt like my lower back exploded. I was barely able to walk out of class. I worked on it for a few days by myself, but I knew I needed some help. I need something more than just the usual massage in Bali, Indonesia.
Enter Tino, who was referred by some friends. He is not a masseuse, but a body worker, which I did not even know existed before living in Ubud. He set himself up in the bedroom, where I placed a sarong on the bed, and I laid down under a pool towel in nothing but my underwear. Hence, the mostly naked wife.
I am getting entirely used to being 98% naked in massages here, and I am used to flipping over onto my back allowing my tatas to be exposed to the world, but having someone, a man, in my bedroom, it was a little strange at first. I felt particularly exposed because the curtains were open and you can definitely see into our bedroom from the rice paddies.
As I tried to relax, he started to work on the tight spots and he knew exactly where to go. It was intuitive. He could see where the problem was in my spine without even touching me. Our friend, Joe, said it is like Tino can see inside your body. He got to work quickly, not wasting any time, and because I like pleasure from pain, it was amazing.
Eric did not want to disturb us or get in the way. Good husband. Eric ran out to the super market to pick up some groceries, which might have been a good thing. After a few minutes of Tino going to work, I was moaning and groaning like I never, and I mean never, have before. At one point he was bending me into a pretzel and said “you’re really flexible.” Probably a good thing Eric didn’t hear that.
Tino was getting in between my muscles and spine, into the deep dark crevasses of my neck, and worked my psoas muscles like never before. To get into the psoas he pressed on a trigger point inside the top of my thigh, while pressing his knee into my back. My lord. Then, when I was on my back, he was using trigger point therapy to get into the front of my psoas, my pushing into the space just next to my pelvis to soften the muscle. Oh my. Pleasure from pain indeed.
After 90 minutes or so, Tino left, and I was spent. Total cost: about $17.
Eric returned to a quiet house and a fully clothed wife. I was so spent I needed to take a nap. If I were a cartoon, I am sure I would have been drinking a scotch and smoking a cigarette in bed. Instead, I took a quick little nap and went on with my day. Because this is what happens when The Husband leaves The Wife at home with a strange Balinese man. Magic happens.
God I f*ckin love Bali.
Amber Hoffman, food and travel writer behind With Husband In Tow, is a recovering attorney and professional eater, with a passion for finding new food and drink destinations. She lives with her husband, Eric, in Girona, Catalonia, Spain. Together they have traveled to over 70 countries.